I’m going to sit on your face and suffocate you and when they bury you you’re gonna have my ass print on your face :D
My parents always lectured me to be careful about the gender flu, and a new strain was just discovered that will impregnate you if you catch it, I had caught it over night and when I walked into the kitchen in the morning everyone’s jaws dropped “what’s wrong? Why is everyone staring at me”